What's up with me?

Dear Diary,

I went out with an old guy friend today tonight. And right now, an odd feeling is taking over me. I don't know if I'm bothered or worried about ze boyfriend but I do think I am. I know there's nothing between me and my old friend but the thing is... We had a history. Yeaaahh way back Highschool. But still, I am 100% sure there are no romantic feelings involved. It's just that, I feel a bit down for going out with my old friend. I was really not up to it but since we haven't caught up in a while and it has been more than a year since I last saw him, I agreed to meet up and have dinner. It was a really quick one, 15 minutes or so? The second we're done eating, ze boyfriend messaged me that he's taking his word back and felt like he doesn't want me to meet my old friend anymore. Could he be jealous? I honestly do not know. :| It's very rare for him to get jealous. Yeah I feel amazing whenever he feels threatened that a guy could steal me anytime away from him. But this time, it's not a good feeling. I don't want us (ze boyfriend and I) to fight. Who wants that anyway? Having done that and feeling this, I might as well talk to ze boyfriend tomorrow. Just to clear things up. :)

Aha! I finally know what exactly is bothering me... The thought of ze boyfriend going out with an old friend who is a girl. I don't think I could allow him to hang out with a girl, just the two of them having fun. Yeah I trust him but... but... I can't stand the thought of it. :( I know it's unfair but what do you think I should do? I'm scared of ze boyfriend telling me that he has allowed me to do whatever I want but when it comes to him, I couldn't allow him? That's exactly what I'm anxious about. I would never want to hear that from him. Ever.

Whew! We'll talk tomorrow. Hopefully, it turns out well. Wish me luck! Goodnight xx


Anxiously wondering,
Secret Diary Keeper