Harsh Realizations

Dear diary,

Based on my title, it would obviously seem that this will be a long sappy post. Somehow it will be, but not entirely. This will be a short, straight to the point venting of long-kept feelings kind of post. Mostly about me, all the negative things I see. So what about myself? I realized I am such a bad, selfish and controlling person. I've always known this but never realized the level and degree of it. But today I came to a point that even I, myself, hate my own self. I have been self pitying back when I was a child due to my inferiority complex but I outgrew that because of my peers in my pre-teenage years. Since then, I became that confident and happy girl who everyone always wants to be with. Even I have problems before, even there are many backstabbers and haters around, they never get to really affect me because I simply didn't care. I was carefree, youthful and just contented.

But today is different. I realized that I never really treasured myself back on those days. I didn't cherish the awesome feeling and lifestyle I had. I took myself for granted and that's why this point in my life came. Where I became the controlling selfish person that I am.

I know this is such a nonsense post. My thoughts are all scattered. But I just want to say that I feel so down today and I feel like I'm the worst person in the world. :( So for anyone who is reading this, I am sorry.



Lost,
Secret Diary Keeper☝