Awful Dreamer

Dear Diary,

Good morning lovelies

I had another horrifying dream just this morning. I woke up around 6am just to check on my messages then went right back to sleep. That's when I had the awful dream. It is about ze boyfriend hiding things from me and I, eventually realizing all the lies he had told me. In short, he was cheating on me in my dream. What's worse is, he's cheating with the girl I hate. No, not hate. DESPISE. And to be honest, it's  bothering me already because since last week, I've had the same dream for 3 consecutive days. God, what are you trying to tell me with all these cheating dreams?! :(

I woke up crying from the dream I had. I looked up on the internet about the interpretation for this kind of dream. It said, it is either I am afraid to be alone or I am insecure about the relationship I have. Well, I think it's a bit of both. I just have to master the skill of not over thinking my dream so my real life won't be ruined. Ze boyfriend is in class right now so I just messaged him about my dream. He told me I made him laugh that I seriously have weird dreams. Yeah, he just laughed. So I guess I have nothing to be worried at. :>

As of the moment, I'm preparing food for lunch. My favorite food!<3 Oh by the way, my package has arrived! I got 6 new tops! Yayy for new clothes! Alright, off I go to do my personal duties. :P Have a nice day, folks! :)


Shopaholic Sleepyhead,
Secret Diary Keeper

Old Self Come Back

Dear Diary,

I have so many stories to tell yaaaa! However, I only have 15 minutes to tell you everything since I already have a bed time. Not that my mom told me so. :P I just want to have a good night slumber every single night! I'm trying to live a healthy and happy life from now on. There are just so many optimistic ideas in my mind right now. And I'm loving it! So, all my stories would be short and not detailed. But here it goes! :>

In the past two weeks I'm not updating with my everyday life stories, so many things have had happened. Mostly it's good though! :) Remember I told you I had my 4-weekend vacay all booked? (Read it here if you haven't) First off, I had an all-weekend pamper session with Mom and little sister. It's been awhile since we did those things together. Since we had the time, we spent it to the fullest! We had gone shopping at a french shop, went to the spa for a massage, met up with our dermatologist for skin treatment and visited the hair salon for some hair treatment service. It was really fun! I felt like I was a new person after everything. LOL I also met up with my older brother to go on a car show. It was the first time that ze boyfriend met my brother. He already has a family so he doesn't live with me and my sister. We only get to see each other every Christmas or family reunion. But thank God we're still pretty close to each other.

Then in the recent weekend, it was just chilling days for me. My family with ze boyfriend dined in a Japanese restaurant and watched The Expendables 2 in the newly built mall near our place! The Expendables 2 was really a good action-thrilled film. I seriously adore Chuck Norris! Hahaha! =)) He's one hell of a funny guy!

I feel like I'm getting my old self back, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. I handle situations better now although sometimes I still get cranky and irritable. LOL :)) And I'm getting addicted again to online shopping. Today I bought a new mustard top via online. When I have received it, I was like It's sooo prettyyy! <3 Tomorrow I'll be picking up new clothes with a seller I met online. 6 more clothes coming up! Yay! :D

But honestly, I'm already broke now. HAHAHA! Thanks to online shopping! :)) Yet I'm oh so happy! :D Cheers to enjoying life to the fullest!


Loving ze life,
Secret Diary Keeper

All Fixed Up

Dear Diary,

I am truly and sincerely sorry about my previous post. I was at the brink of breaking down that time so it sounded like I'm such a depressed and lonely person. Well, I was. But now I'm 100% okay. I've read so many things about positivity in life, being in my truest self and the like. It feels like I'm a revived and changed person, for the better me of course. ;)

I'm thinking of writing little words of wisdom here if ever I came up to something decent and sensible. LOL :)) But yeah, I know there are a lot of people more troubled and problematic than I am, who are in dying need for help. And if by any chance they'd stumble to my blog, at least I could help them in the smallest ways I can. :D

My greatest lesson yesterday was: "Dignity comes above anything else."

Yeah I know to some it's nothing, that it doesn't make sense. But it is one of the best insights I've ever read. It relates to all the things we do. Whether it is about our family, friends and romantic relationships. :> So never ever give up your dignity and self-worth, because in the end, it is only YOU who could love yourself better than anyone else. :)

Gonna prep up for school now! Take care hunnies


Better than ever,
Secret Diary Keeper

Barbie Doll Wannabe

Dear Diary,

Lately, I'm pressured by the people around me. They're telling me things about myself which they do not like. That I should act more lady-like, think wiser and be more adorable. I was even told once by a person, the one person who I expect to boost my confidence more, that I'm just mediocre--not good, inferior quality. I tried to forget that day but it just hit me like a bullet. It turns out I am not the person they thought I'd be.

And it hurts so much.

I just want to shut myself down from the world. I want to get away, really far away. Where no one could tell me what I should do and be. I'm not a Barbie doll. I may not be perfect but I'm real. I have feelings to be considered.

But I guess that doesn't matter now. Oh life.



Lost and frustrated,
Secret Diary Keeper

Long Day Ahead!!

Dear Diary,

I'm so sorry if I failed to update last night. :( I got home late and was too tired to go online. And I was pretty upset about my exam because it was freakin' difficult and loooong, so I had to go out and shop to make myself feel better. I bought a pretty dress and a polka top! :D I'm wearing the dress today because my family, together with ze boyfriend, will head out today to attend a car show that my brother organized. Mom's planning to buy me and my sister a car too. The down part of it is, my sister and I still don't know how to drive. LOL :)) But I know the basic already though. When ze boyfriend and I were just friends, he used to teach me driving with his car. He gave me a C+ for my first performance! Not bad, right?

I don't know if I should be excited for today. It will be the first time that my brother and ze boyfriend meet, personally. Cross your fingers for me! Haha! And I need all the confidence I could get, there will surely be a lot of pretty and sexy girls at the car show and I don't want to feel insecure about them. So yeah, I'll be silently thinking this: "I'm the most beautiful girl in the world, so why would I get bothered by these low-class women?" HAHA Don't get me wrong, I'm not really this self-conceited. I'm just trying to make my ego boost, without actually acting and looking like a bitch in front of everyone. Haha! :D

It's a 4-day long vacation for me too! Each day of this short vacay got plans! Tomorrow, I'll attend a house party hosted by my bestfriend's mom and mom's bestfriend. Get what I mean? Lol I hope I didn't lost you there.=)) Then the day after tomorrow, mom and I are scheduled to the dermatologist for a skin check up! Yaaaay! It's been almost a year since I last visited a dermatologist. I need this badly! HAHA Then on Tues, we'll go to the salon for more pamper session. ;)

So I guess I should look forward for this weekend. God, please make this weekend awesome!! Byeee~



All dressed up,
Secret Diary Keeper


P.S. My sister's dog, Enzo died today. Awww :(

Doing the same

Dear Diary,

This is just a quick post. I have to do our final group report in 1 hour. Just for freakin' 1 hour! Yayy for cramming once again! LOL I didn't have the time to do it in the past days even though I had the time because I got sick again. -___- Lately, my body seems to be always weak and restless. :( But now I'm feeling a lot better since I've had a pretty good night sleep last night. Just what I have been wanting for daysss! So yay for that too! :P

I'm so hungry right now! I'm waiting for my noodles to be cooked. :) I'll be going to the mall today before I go to school because ze boyfriend needs to buy gloves for his mixed martial arts thing. He does Muay Thai for a sport. :> So yeah.

There's nothing much I could tell you now, readers. :P But I will update tonight about what happened to me in the past few days. I've watched Step Up Revolution last Saturday, by the way! :D But my exams were.... Ughh never mind! Will tell you everything about it later tonight! Must work on our report now. Cheerio mates! xx



Sipping a noodle,
Secret Diary Keeper

Saturday Morning

Dear Diary,

Today, I will be studying intensively for my re-scheduled midterm exams. I must exert 100% effort to studying so that I could make up to my low scores in quizzes. I don't want to cram anymore which is why I cancelled all my dates with friends and ze boyfriend in the next few days, just for studying. And when I'm done, I'll finish reading 2 of my new books which are stacked in my bookshelf for months.I hope all my plans would actually happen and not just remain being a plan.

Yesterday, ze boyfriend surprised me by hugging me to wake me up. We have not seen each other for three days and I kinda miss him. No, I missed him terribly. :"> I was literally jumping up and down when I saw him yesterday morning. He was supposed to attend his class but he didn't cos he badly wanted to see me. Sweet! :') We went to a church where we donated food for the unfortunate people. Helping other people brings self-fulfillment to both of us. :> Then we had lunch at a newly opened restaurant and watched The Dictator (finallyyy!!! HAHA) at his house. It was one hell of a laugh! Though the humor is not exactly in a decent sense but it is good, if you like feel-good movies. :)

Alright, I'll get back to cooking my breakfast. I think my sausages are burnt now. LOL Keep the love xx


Hungryyyy Chef,
Secret Diary Keeper

Meaningful Photos

Dear Diary,

Apparently, I've got nothing to since I'm left alone here in our flat. Again. Hey I'm not a loner in real life but since I got sick, I could not go anywhere but in my bed. My mom kept telling me that I should not do anything tiring or else it would make me feel a lot worse, which I do not want to happen. And my sister, let's just say she's not exactly a home-buddy. That explains why I'm always left alone at home. Haha! In real life, I could say that I'm very sociable and friendly. I usually go out with my friends to have fun or go on a date with ze boyfriend. Honestly, this staying home all day routine, I find it good... And comforting. I've been dying to do this for weeks already! But ever since school started, it's difficult to just stay at home even when I don't have any important school-related thing to do. I love staying home AND going out all the same. ;)

I'm scrolling down my Tumblr dashboard as of now. And yes, I do have a Tumblr account but sorry I won't tell you. HAHA It's an old account anyway, most of my old personal photos are there. :P As I was browsing my dashboard, some photos caught my eye. They are just gif photos but some people call them Cinemagraphs. And seriously, these photos are really amazing! Here are some of them:

A train that is either about to stop or accelerate again going to another stop.

Party lights which are hanging and moving.

I love this kind of light during night parties. It sets the light party mood up! :>

A fountain on a sunny day. :)

These photos are just a few of the cinemagraphs I saw. Whenever I see this kind of pictures, it reminds me of the photos on the Harry Potter movies. The ones on newspapers and the headline with pictures are moving. It'll be cool if all our photos will be like this, isn't it? :D

This isn't like the ones above. I just want to post it because it reminds me of the kind of hotel room I want when I visit Paris. I want my hotel room to have a balcony with a breath-taking view of the city or the Eiffel Tower. Oooohh, I'm daydreaming again. :P

And this is how I reacted in the past days when someone is asking me something.

I'd just look at them and get back to sleep. HAHA!

I did all these because I've got nothing to do. So bare with me. :P LOL!

Missing someone terribly,
Secret Diary Keeper

Random Thoughts

Dear Diary,

I'm typing these words using my iPod touch. Some things are bothering me but I'm not sure what. What I'm sure about is that my sickness makes me feel sad now. I realized that I've wasted 3 days of my vacation lying on my bed and trying to feel better. And yet, I'm still sick. I'm not complaining because I actually feel a lot better now compared to what I was feeling in the past days. It's just that I feel down from being so unproductive. With the 3free days I had, I should've and surely would have finished doing all the school stuff waiting to be done. I don't like the feeling of having a wasted time, and much worse, days. :(

How I wish my cough and colds would get away now. I wish there was a quick way of getting rid of them. On a lighter note, I finally finished reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower, in less than 24 hours. ;)

WARNING: Spoilers ahead!!! Don't read the next paragraph if you're planning to read or still on the progress of reading the book. :P

The ending is a bit strange for me. I was expecting Charlie and Sam would end up together, but the author didn't let them. Although I was surprised to know that he was molested by his all-time favorite Aunt Helen. That explains his rejection to Sam when they were about to have sex. Anyway, I really just love happy endings which is why I find it sad that Sam and Charlie didn't end up together. :>

Please pray that I get better now. I'll try to get up from the bed more often and try to work on my school work now. I don't want this day to be another wasted time. Have a good day, lovelies!❤


Suppressing these random thoughts,
Secret Diary Keeper

Trying to be better

Dear Diary,

I'm still a bit sick. Just colds and cough though, thank God! I could stand and read books again, but not too much or else I'll feel dizzy and nauseous. Right now, I'm snacking on some cookies and chips. My throat is so itchy that if I could shove my hand down my throat to scratch it, I will. >:)) It didn't let me sleep last night! I kept coughing and drinking water to soothe the itchy feeling away. I hope I get better soon, with soon I mean now, so that I could start reviewing for my upcoming exams which are postponed by the way. But still, I have to work my a$$ off to have the high marking grade I desire!!!

Currently, I'm all alone here at our flat because my sister and her friend went out to buy some lunch. Since I'm the sick one, I get the privilege to get taken care of. *evil laugh* Instead doing house chores or studying my notes, I'm reading Stephen Chbosky's The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It's surprisingly interesting. My friends kept on telling me to try reading this book but I just find it a bit 'teenage-ish' literature. I sound  too old, no? LOL Anyway, I'm enjoying every page of Charlie's diary. I even searched for the movie trailer of this book and found out Emma Watsons is playing Sam's character. So yay for that! :D

Must get back to reading now, I could not let the 'reading vibe' get away. Haha! Stay safe, folks!


Scared of the lightning,
Secret Diary Keeper


P.S. What's the update with London Olympics? I've been too sick to watch TV lately. :P

Sick and Weak :(

Dear Diary,

As of the moment, I'm recovering from a fever which I had since Friday. Last night, my body temperature was 38° Celsius. I honestly don't know what caused me to be sick but it all started with a sore throat. Ouch! :( Good thing, my body temp went back to normal this morning. :>

Yesterday was the first day of our midterm exams and I didn't study for it, cos I was sick. I can't stand up, think straight and comprehend all the information in my handouts and notes. But I'm still hoping that I'll get a passing mark. *wishful thinking* I stumbled on to my old blogs in blogger yesterday, too. My old posts made me laugh so much and I can't imagine how childish I was before. :))

I'll have my breakfast now. I need all the healthy nutrients I could get to fully recover. :) Have a good day, sunshine loverrrsss! :3


Coughing and sneezing excessively,
Secret Diary Keeper


Mood: Irritated :| Ugghhh Someone's making me feel this way. -____-

I'm fine.

Dear Diary,

My title will always be my favorite line and lie. Just to skip on telling people how sad I am.

This day has been very cruel to me. I was looking forward too much for this day in the past weeks and when it came, it seriously hit me hard right at the bottom of my heart. But still, some parts of my day went just... Okay.

Today is ze boyfriend and I's 31st month together, 2 years and 7 months in other words. We have been planning thinking of what to do when the day comes. My suggestion was to try the lovely vintage cafe I've been dying to try. Then he wants to watch a movie, The Dictator. Remember my previous post? We should have watched The Dictator the other day but due to wrong information we got from the internet, we failed watching the movie. Ze boyfriend told me,"maybe it's just not meant to happen today." I think so, too! So we just agreed to watch it on our originally planned date. That's today. Yet, it didn't happen. Ugghh what a downer, right? -.-

I woke up at 6am and called ze boyfriend to say my good morning. Of course the day is so special, I want to make him special as well. He told me he is on his way to review class and I believed him. But somehow after I got off the phone with him, as I lie in my bed, I heard his car alarm sound. First I thought it was just an imagination but when I checked my hunch out, I turn out to be correct. He was walking from the parking lot, going for the entrance of our flat. I hugged him the second I could reach him and greeted him with a kiss He brought back my laptop already, by the way. So, yay I could blog again anytime I want! *thumbs up* I ate breakfast with him as he installed some programs on my computer. We even looked at his kiddo photos, he's such a cutie! LOL Around 10am, we headed out for lunch in the quaint cafe I've been telling you, guys. I was too excited that I even dressed up 3 times for it. Silly me, huh? But before ze boyfriend and I even get to ride in his car , we had a petty argument about not watching the movie anymore because we would be in a hurry in eating just to catch the movie time we wanted. We disagreed about what to do and what should we do and I ended up not talking to him while we were on our way to the cafe.

When we arrived, he hugged me and explained that he really wants to watch the movie but if time won't permit us, we could just do it next time. And so I agreed just to end the petty fight and I also realized how bratty I was being to him. :P As we enter the place, I instantly fell in love again. Aaahh, what a great inspiration for my dream cafe! :> Here are some piccies I took while we were dining:

Fresh flowers as table's centerpiece. Pretty! :3

White wooden chairs with pastel color designs. :>

"Let's have fun today" sign boards at the entrance. :)

Cakes, cakes and more cakes! Who wants some? ;)

I seriously love that pink refrigerator. Eeeek!! :">

I kept on taking photos around the cafe because I love the decors so much, while ze boyfriend read the menu and asked the waitress for the best sellers. The waitresses are very accommodating and friendly. They gave us a free bowl of popcorn, pretzels and marshmallows. Hmm-hmmm! :')

We ordered pumpkin soup since it was a bit cold and windy outside. We could use the warmth that a soup could bring in our bodies. Haha! It was my first time to try pumpkin soup. Pumpkin for me is a vegetable so that's a no-no for me, before. :P I'm getting flexible with my food choices!

Yummy pumpkin soup. Ze boyfriend loved this so much!

This is what I ordered: Homebaked Chicken Parmesan.

Guess why I ordered this.... It has a lot of cheese in it! :D

Ze boyfriend ordered Texas Barbeque Ribs.

He takes his ribs seriously. Yeah. ;)

 We ordered a slice of Tiramisu cake for dessert. Just a so-so.

Everything seemed to be going perfect? Not yet... Just wait.

After eating, he told me that we would watch the movie even if on a later movie schedule. I felt excited once again! But we had to pick up his youngest brother from school first before we could go to the mall. When we reached their house just to drop his brother off, his father called and told him to cook lunch. And it perfectly ruined the plan. -____- I only had 3hours to spare for movie before I go to Uni, but him still having to cook for lunch, it won't allow me to make it right on time for school. Yes, we had another argument, with the same topic and ended with the decision of bringing me home so that I could go to class early. And yes, we ended our celebration that way. What a drag! :|

Then I went to school, cramming for an exam but nothing stuck in my head because cramming does no good. I took the test and I'm unsure how well or bad I did. *crossed fingers for my score* It made me a bit more sad because the test was easy, for real. And yet I still have the possibility of flunking it. :(

Here comes break time. I went at the 2nd floor of our building to buy tea because my throat doesn't feel right. Thinking it would soothe the sore feeling, I bought and drank it all up at once. It made my throat feel much worse. And now, I already have tonsillitis or inflamed throat AND colds. Sheeesh! I don't want to be sick right now. I have upcoming midterm exams next week and I need to have my healthy body and mind to study!

I need to get some rest now. Gonna need so much of it badly for tomorrow! I got 2 exams and there's still no progress for me, as of now. So, good night little dreamerss! I hope you had a good day despite all the problems you are having. Remember, we're all blessed! Let's stay strong! Besides, this too shall pass. :)

Feeling sicky,

Secret Diary Keeper

P.S. This is a horribly long post. Sorry! Haha! I came across a cat  earlier today and I realized I'm scared of them. They creep me out!  

Once Again :)

Dear Diary,

Classes today are suspended! For the 5th time! It is a bit shocking to me because there's no reason for my Uni to suspend but they did. So my verdict about this is somewhere in the middle of yay or nay. :> But still, I think this is a blessing. Don't you guys think? :P Although I'm hoping that our exam schedule next week won't change. I love my 1day midterm exam schedule! :)) Yeah, just one day next week and the rest of the week will be free days for me. Cool beans!

Ze boyfriend and I planned to watch a movie on Friday but since we have spare time to spend today, we're going to watch The Dictator later after lunch. Yaaaay! I know it's wildly hilarious, but ze boyfriend loved the Borat movie, which the lead star is the same with The Dictator. Imma give it a try! Who knows, it might be my all-time favorite movie? :>

Posting again later tonight! I must get ready now. Off to shower! Ciao☺


The lucky blessed one,
Secret Diary Keeper⚡