SHACKLED?

Dear Diary,

Sooo, I just got home from school. Naaahh, actually I got home more than an hour ago. But I'm still resting before I take a shower. Some things are bothering me again and I want to admit and be honest about it because I learned before that the more a person denies something, the more the situation worsens. So yes, I'm worried sick and utterly on the brink of breaking down. Well, I sorta broke down awhile ago. Just a little, tiny bit. I felt sad and tired so I cried without being aware I was already crying. But that's just about 2mins or something. :P

Hmmm, what in the world is bothering me anyway? I honestly do not know. But I think it started with the dream I had this morning. It was about ze boyfriend and the girl I've been jealous to. Not really jealous, I just dislike her. I don't want her talking to ze boyfriend or interacting with him. I don't want them to be friends, for short. There are really people once in your life that whatever you do with them, you don't get to like them. You just don't get along together. And I think, that's the case with her. I tried being friends with her for more than 5months but then things happen you don't expect and just made me despise her. Yes, despise!!! I even wished before that she would be non existent in our lives. But I guess, you just have to accept reality and try to be mature when you encounter these kind of people. Anyway, about my dream. It was about them and ze boyfriend lying to me about going out with her. Yeah, my dreams kinda ruin my outlook in life and trust with my boyfriend. Haha! And when I woke up, I called babe and told him about it. As usual, he told me it was just a dream and nothing like that would happen. I believe him. :)

So what's wrong? Everything seems to be running smoothly, right? Let's just say I'm insatiable. Once I'm triggered by something, I become cranky and worries a lot the whole day. I don't get contented even how much cheer up words ze boyfriend or anyone tells me. Though sometimes it works. ;) But today is just far different from any other day. The dream bothered me a lot. It made me remember all the bittersweet memories I had. All the anger and sadness I felt before. I realized I wasn't completely healed. Not yet.

This resulted to a silent war with ze boyfriend. We were sending each other cold messages. Good thing I had a class today and it kept my mind off for awhile. Oh no, who am I kidding? I was even thinking about it during class. :( I stopped texting him instead when I arrived school. Thankfully, he figured that we're not really okay and started being all sweet again. He persuaded me and fixed things between us. We're all good now but I think we still both need to learn to understand and be entirely open to each other. THE END </3

Another horribly long post, sorrryyyy!!! LOL Gonna take a shower now. It's still early and yet I feel sleepy already! :P Goodnight sweethearts! :>


Reading between the lines,
Secret Diary Keeper