Dear Diary,
Yes, it's been awhile. Our internet at home was disconnected for almost a week. And we just figured out yesterday that a wire was not plugged in to the internet that's why it was not working. How lame for us not to notice that. Lol! With work, on the other hand, well... I definitely had a toxic week O_O There are some great sides to it, though.
First, I was moved to another team. Actually no, they included me to another team which does a whole different process. Therefore, I am so preoccupied doing 2 daily tasks and monthly tasks. It's good because I feel productive each day and I don't feel sleepy at work anymore. But by the end of the day, I really feel tired and restless. Add the fact that I am having a hard time sleeping lately. I only get 4-5 maximum hours of sleep and thus constantly waking up and coming to work late. :( Yet, still not complaining. I am, by far, still enjoying the work I am doing. I just really hope I won't feel like I'm stuck in a rut. Cos when that happens, I might quit. Or not. Haha! We'll just see. :D
Second, the later the time I get out of the office, the more chance I get to bond with some of my officemates. We usually eat after work, talk about each others' lives and random stuff. And more money I must say. Overtime work pays more! Haha! =)))
Third, my mind gets off a little while from the worries I should be thinking about regarding ze boyfriend. I am the clingy type of girlfriend, right? So whenever ze boyfriend doesn't text or call me, normally (before) I'd be feeling paranoid and grumpy towards him. But with all the work I'm doing, well... I don't have time for emotional and nonsense things. :P You may call me a robot now since I can't be sad when I have something to be sad about.
Speaking of him, ze boyfriend is on a silent retreat with his co-workers. That doesn't bother me much anymore since I trust him more now. Yayy for me! LOL But the sad part is, we won't be seeing each other this weekend. Boo-hoo! :(
By the way, something is... I don't know, bothering me? I have a situation with my co-worker/ex-classmate here. She thinks, I am competing with her over a guy. This guy is "Plane". I've told you about him before, right? Plane and I became close friends recently. And he told me he's attracted to me. I told him that I used to have a crush on him as well. There's nothing between us, really. We're just two people happened to find each other attractive (cos we are? HAHA!) and stayed as friends instead. And yet, some narrow-minded people thinks I'm such a flirt for being friends with an attractive guy while I'm committed. I'm like, "I don't have plans on competing with you over a guy, sister. He's all yours if you want." That's just inside my mind though. Haha! Aside from that, I find Will more attractive and intellectual. :">
But nothing compares to Ze boyfriend. He's the best guy everrr! :')
That's all. Byeee! :D
Wishing on a star,
Secret Diary Keeper♡
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
Insatiable
Dear Diary,
This is one thing I hate the most about myself, I am never satisfied with anything.
Although not all the time, but still. I always crave for something better, especially with myself. That's why sometimes I become too hard on myself. I become depress when I don't reach my expectations on my performance.
Just like today at work. We had an assessment exam. Our trainer handed us our results just now and I did not get the highest score this time. Last time I was the highest and the rest of my co-trainees failed the exam. I just wished I perfected the exam and not slack off. Whew! -____-
But if you come to think of it, I have a pretty good score, 94/100? The highest got 97. I just feel like I could have done better. I could have a higher score than anyone else in the team. I knew I could perfect it.
But I didn't. What a downer. :(
On a brighter side, this could be my motivation in our next assessment exam. And I can't wait to do better and show them I can be the best! Aaacck! I am so competitive >.< Please pray for me that I get a high mark tomorrow! Thank you so much, mates!
Cheerio xx
Trying to be the best at work,
Secret Diary Keeper
This is one thing I hate the most about myself, I am never satisfied with anything.
Although not all the time, but still. I always crave for something better, especially with myself. That's why sometimes I become too hard on myself. I become depress when I don't reach my expectations on my performance.
Just like today at work. We had an assessment exam. Our trainer handed us our results just now and I did not get the highest score this time. Last time I was the highest and the rest of my co-trainees failed the exam. I just wished I perfected the exam and not slack off. Whew! -____-
But if you come to think of it, I have a pretty good score, 94/100? The highest got 97. I just feel like I could have done better. I could have a higher score than anyone else in the team. I knew I could perfect it.
But I didn't. What a downer. :(
On a brighter side, this could be my motivation in our next assessment exam. And I can't wait to do better and show them I can be the best! Aaacck! I am so competitive >.< Please pray for me that I get a high mark tomorrow! Thank you so much, mates!
Cheerio xx
Trying to be the best at work,
Secret Diary Keeper
December 22, 2009
Dear Diary,
The date on my title will always be my favorite date aside from my birthday and our anniversary. Everything started on that date. Our love story.
Okay that was cheesy. Hihi :">
I guess that's how a person is when he/she is in love, right? Sooo, back to my story.
Only a few people in my life knows this date. Maybe because we never opened it to anyone aside from our most trusted friends. This date had been like the "trial and error" relationship. I can't remember exactly what happened but all I know is he did something good to make me happy. And in return, I told him that he could ask 1 wish from me and I'll grant it whatever it may be. At that time, I already knew that he liked me. But all I can offer him was friendship. Or so I thought. I tried to push him away from me, but the more I push him away, the more he gave in. He pursued me despite everything I did to him. Hence the "good things".
He can't think of anything to ask so I suggested some, like a gift, a hug or a date. I knew he'd like the last one because he's madly in love with me. Lol
But then we modified it. Since I agreed that I would grant anything he asks, he told me he wants me to be his girlfriend. For a day. That caught me off guard. But then I'm the kind of person who sticks to his word and so I agreed. We had planned this "bf/gf for a day date" 2weeks earlier. I wasn't excited about the day or anything. I was just feeling normal. No expectations. No looking forward. Nothing.
And so the day came.
It's still fresh in my memory until now how it all happened. We met at a mall near my place. I was late, as usual. (Told you I was not looking forward to it! :P) I was wearing a red sort of hoodie paired with a leggings. (I am not fond of wearing denim pants >.<) While he wore a yellow checkered collared shirt with a crisp fabric (Yes I am that attentive with details. Haha!) and pants. I liked what he wore that day, compared to our "first date" months before that. He looked mature and young at the same time. He didn't brought a car that day so we took the cab. We both knew what the day was all about but he never made a move on me. He didn't hold my hand, or kiss me on the cheek or whatever normal couples do when they see each other. It was a bit awkward while we were on the cab. We just talked about random things, mostly about school and friends. When we reached our destination, we ate at Mcdonald's first. I just wanted to eat some fries while he ordered a burger. We talked some more and when we're done, we went out to shop for Christmas gifts for our own respective families. I told him that I wanted to go to the bookstore first to check out the planner I had been planning to buy, a Belle De Jour planner. But since my money is set aside for gifts for my family, I didn't buy it. Besides it was still early to buy a planner, I could buy it when January starts. So I just scanned some books in one corner of the bookstore. When we were about to go out of the bookstore, he handed me his purchased item and said, "Merry Christmas!". It was the planner.
I was seriously surprised and overwhelmed that time. I was so lost for words because I didn't think he'd buy it.So I just said my most sincere "thank you" to him. :')
That's when I thought of buying something for him too. Since I knew he loves listening to music, I bought him a pair of earphones so that he could replace the one he was using. Because the one I gave is cuter. :P Haha! So we shopped for gifts, strolled around the park near the mall and had dinner at a seafood restaurant. He knew I love crab that's why he brought me there. There's a funny thing that happened in the restaurant. We ordered so many food--crab, shrimps, fish, etc. It was like a feast that night! And when the bill came, we were shocked by the price of the crab. The price of it was measured per gram of the crab. Since we ordered a big and heavy one, just imagine how much it was. And to my surprise, he paid for everything. He didn't let me pay even a single centavo for the bill. I was amazed by that move, to be honest. :)
If you're wondering, what moves did he do that day as my boyfriend? Well, none. We were still like best friends hanging out on a Tuesday afternoon. Nothing unusual happened.
Then we went home. While we were on the cab, he held my hand. He was sincerely saying thank you for the chance. Although he didn't use the privilege. I was moved. :"> I hugged him and he held me until when we reach our house. That's the time I knew I was falling for him.
I never realized his care and respect for me until that day happened. I thought to myself,
"I am so lucky to have this guy in my life. A guy who doesn't stop loving me despite everything I did, my imperfections and my failure to love him back. But now I know even if it is hard to admit it to myself.... I love him."
The day ended. He told me that he was not sure what to feel. Whether to be happy because we were together the whole day, or sad because his chance ended. Then I just kissed him goodnight three consecutive times. And then he left.
Since that day, our relationship never returned the way it was before. We saw each other almost every day that week. We were together on Christmas Eve! :D We held hands, kissed every time we see each other and acted like real boyfriend and girlfriend, although I still didn't reply "I love you too" each time he says I love you. I just want to show my love for him thru my actions, instead of telling him that I love him. That kind of relationship lasted for 2weeks until I made it official on January 3, 2010. A week before my 18th birthday party.
The date on my title will always be my favorite date aside from my birthday and our anniversary. Everything started on that date. Our love story.
Okay that was cheesy. Hihi :">
I guess that's how a person is when he/she is in love, right? Sooo, back to my story.
Only a few people in my life knows this date. Maybe because we never opened it to anyone aside from our most trusted friends. This date had been like the "trial and error" relationship. I can't remember exactly what happened but all I know is he did something good to make me happy. And in return, I told him that he could ask 1 wish from me and I'll grant it whatever it may be. At that time, I already knew that he liked me. But all I can offer him was friendship. Or so I thought. I tried to push him away from me, but the more I push him away, the more he gave in. He pursued me despite everything I did to him. Hence the "good things".
He can't think of anything to ask so I suggested some, like a gift, a hug or a date. I knew he'd like the last one because he's madly in love with me. Lol
But then we modified it. Since I agreed that I would grant anything he asks, he told me he wants me to be his girlfriend. For a day. That caught me off guard. But then I'm the kind of person who sticks to his word and so I agreed. We had planned this "bf/gf for a day date" 2weeks earlier. I wasn't excited about the day or anything. I was just feeling normal. No expectations. No looking forward. Nothing.And so the day came.
It's still fresh in my memory until now how it all happened. We met at a mall near my place. I was late, as usual. (Told you I was not looking forward to it! :P) I was wearing a red sort of hoodie paired with a leggings. (I am not fond of wearing denim pants >.<) While he wore a yellow checkered collared shirt with a crisp fabric (Yes I am that attentive with details. Haha!) and pants. I liked what he wore that day, compared to our "first date" months before that. He looked mature and young at the same time. He didn't brought a car that day so we took the cab. We both knew what the day was all about but he never made a move on me. He didn't hold my hand, or kiss me on the cheek or whatever normal couples do when they see each other. It was a bit awkward while we were on the cab. We just talked about random things, mostly about school and friends. When we reached our destination, we ate at Mcdonald's first. I just wanted to eat some fries while he ordered a burger. We talked some more and when we're done, we went out to shop for Christmas gifts for our own respective families. I told him that I wanted to go to the bookstore first to check out the planner I had been planning to buy, a Belle De Jour planner. But since my money is set aside for gifts for my family, I didn't buy it. Besides it was still early to buy a planner, I could buy it when January starts. So I just scanned some books in one corner of the bookstore. When we were about to go out of the bookstore, he handed me his purchased item and said, "Merry Christmas!". It was the planner.
I was seriously surprised and overwhelmed that time. I was so lost for words because I didn't think he'd buy it.So I just said my most sincere "thank you" to him. :')That's when I thought of buying something for him too. Since I knew he loves listening to music, I bought him a pair of earphones so that he could replace the one he was using. Because the one I gave is cuter. :P Haha! So we shopped for gifts, strolled around the park near the mall and had dinner at a seafood restaurant. He knew I love crab that's why he brought me there. There's a funny thing that happened in the restaurant. We ordered so many food--crab, shrimps, fish, etc. It was like a feast that night! And when the bill came, we were shocked by the price of the crab. The price of it was measured per gram of the crab. Since we ordered a big and heavy one, just imagine how much it was. And to my surprise, he paid for everything. He didn't let me pay even a single centavo for the bill. I was amazed by that move, to be honest. :)
If you're wondering, what moves did he do that day as my boyfriend? Well, none. We were still like best friends hanging out on a Tuesday afternoon. Nothing unusual happened.
Then we went home. While we were on the cab, he held my hand. He was sincerely saying thank you for the chance. Although he didn't use the privilege. I was moved. :"> I hugged him and he held me until when we reach our house. That's the time I knew I was falling for him.
I never realized his care and respect for me until that day happened. I thought to myself,
"I am so lucky to have this guy in my life. A guy who doesn't stop loving me despite everything I did, my imperfections and my failure to love him back. But now I know even if it is hard to admit it to myself.... I love him."
The day ended. He told me that he was not sure what to feel. Whether to be happy because we were together the whole day, or sad because his chance ended. Then I just kissed him goodnight three consecutive times. And then he left.
Since that day, our relationship never returned the way it was before. We saw each other almost every day that week. We were together on Christmas Eve! :D We held hands, kissed every time we see each other and acted like real boyfriend and girlfriend, although I still didn't reply "I love you too" each time he says I love you. I just want to show my love for him thru my actions, instead of telling him that I love him. That kind of relationship lasted for 2weeks until I made it official on January 3, 2010. A week before my 18th birthday party.
On those days, I was always happy. Euphoric, actually. =D
Aaahhh, reminiscing good memories makes me nostalgic. How I wish I could repeat those things over and over again. But now, I am still very happy that I am with the one person I want and grow old with, ze boyfriend.
There you go! One personal story from meee :>That was a horribly long one. Haha! And for today's story, there is one thing that happened earlier, ze boyfriend lost my iPod touch.
But since it's our 3rd anniversary, I could not be mad at him. I was just like this the whole time we were together --> 
And I could not stay mad at him, he kept me laughing all morning. =))
It was definitely a GOOD MORNING.<3
Praying and wishing for more years together,
Secret Diary Keeper
P.S. My birthday is coming up!!
Can't wait to go on a trip with ze boyfriend.
But since it's our 3rd anniversary, I could not be mad at him. I was just like this the whole time we were together --> And I could not stay mad at him, he kept me laughing all morning. =))It was definitely a GOOD MORNING.<3
Praying and wishing for more years together,
Secret Diary Keeper
P.S. My birthday is coming up!!
Can't wait to go on a trip with ze boyfriend.Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Sweet Flicks ♥
Dear Diary,
Happy New Year again! :D
It's first day of 2013 at work today. I curled my hair just to have this "new" look! Hihi. But naaahh, I am trying to be pretty for later. Because I have a special breakfast date with ze boyfriend laturrr!! Gaahhh :D
It's our 3rd Anniversary♥
Oh my. We're 3 years together now as a couple! 5 years of friendship, 3 years of loving each other unconditionally (though that fails sometimes :P). I am wishing for more years together. I hope that we grow old together and our love always stays. :>
I am done with today's training at work. I'm feeling hungry now! This is what I get for not eating breakfast before going to work. :| I think Imma have my lunch earlier than usual today. That, if my boss permits me, of course.
Can't wait for this day to be done! I wanna meet with him already, get the refund of my graduation fee in Uni then go home to get some decent and normal sleep. Seriously, the holidays (plus work on those days) made me feel restless. I wanna watch more sweet flicks, just like the movies I've watched at home. I really like the Ashton Kutcher movie, "A Lot Like Love". It's an old film of him and Amanda Peete. I really liked the story plot, the unexpected kind of romance. :"> Then for 7 years, they've been trying to hook up with each other every after a break up. They knew they liked each other but never bother admit it to themselves. They played the chase game up until they thought one of them are getting married. Aaahhh, I missed this tingly feeling inside me whenever I watch or read romantic movies/books.
Ooohh, anyway... I must get back to work! Or I'll go to the pantry to get some snack I could munch while working. Have a great day, dearies! Share the loooove<3
Still finding my Ashton (kidding :P But if there is, come meet me now!),
Secret Diary Keeper
Happy New Year again! :D
It's first day of 2013 at work today. I curled my hair just to have this "new" look! Hihi. But naaahh, I am trying to be pretty for later. Because I have a special breakfast date with ze boyfriend laturrr!! Gaahhh :D
It's our 3rd Anniversary♥
Oh my. We're 3 years together now as a couple! 5 years of friendship, 3 years of loving each other unconditionally (though that fails sometimes :P). I am wishing for more years together. I hope that we grow old together and our love always stays. :>
I am done with today's training at work. I'm feeling hungry now! This is what I get for not eating breakfast before going to work. :| I think Imma have my lunch earlier than usual today. That, if my boss permits me, of course.
Can't wait for this day to be done! I wanna meet with him already, get the refund of my graduation fee in Uni then go home to get some decent and normal sleep. Seriously, the holidays (plus work on those days) made me feel restless. I wanna watch more sweet flicks, just like the movies I've watched at home. I really like the Ashton Kutcher movie, "A Lot Like Love". It's an old film of him and Amanda Peete. I really liked the story plot, the unexpected kind of romance. :"> Then for 7 years, they've been trying to hook up with each other every after a break up. They knew they liked each other but never bother admit it to themselves. They played the chase game up until they thought one of them are getting married. Aaahhh, I missed this tingly feeling inside me whenever I watch or read romantic movies/books.
Ooohh, anyway... I must get back to work! Or I'll go to the pantry to get some snack I could munch while working. Have a great day, dearies! Share the loooove<3
Still finding my Ashton (kidding :P But if there is, come meet me now!),
Secret Diary Keeper
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
HAPPY NEW YEAR! :D
Dear Diary,
Oh geez, it's year 2013 already!
Time flies really fast. I am not sure if that's a good thing, though.
2012 has been a bittersweet year for me, but mostly sweet. But if could sum up my 2012 in 1 word, it will be blessed. Blessed because I have my family with me despite the ups and downs of life. I have known who my real friends are, those that won't say afvcked up shit behind my back. And I have my ever supportive and loving boyfriend to give encouragement when I am at the brink of giving up and losing hope. Lastly, I have a God who never fails me. He has always been there for me in my whole life, making each day blessed. So, for all those people who has been part of my 2012 (hopefully still in the following years you'll stay), thank you from the bottom of my heart. :)
Well I just hope they could read this message.
Haha!
Right now, I am in the office and I am in the mood to blog and rant all the things in my mind. Yes, I have spent the New Year's Eve here in the office. Another first time for me.
I've been having a bit of a bad day earlier. Mainly because the train stopped operating at an earlier time. Which means, I must take a cab going to work. Wrong timing. I didn't have cash with me. But I still went on, rode the cab and told the driver to stop when I saw a bank where I could withdraw money from. Aside from the train problem, I was seriously running late for work. I only had 40mins to travel (my travel time is normally 1 hour & a half) because of an unknown phone call which made my bad mood much worse. Later did I know that it was my colleague who was calling me. He was trying to call everyone in his contacts to check if the network is busy or not. I was on grumpy mood when I answered his call because he was chappy and I didn't know at that time that it was him. I even thought it was just a prank call from my family.
Speaking of this colleague, let's call him JV. Well, he's an acquaintance actually. I met him because he was the one who assisted me on my requirements in the company. He talks to me through chat then he got my number and in the past weeks, he's trying to connect with me by inviting me over some coffee or dinner which I purposely reject each time. I'm kinda mean, noh? But it's because I had to. :P I had to turn him down because I don't want to be in sticky situation with ze boyfriend. Yeah I know it'll be just a friendly date, but I know for sure he won't agree to it. Then later, when I added JV in Facebook, he knew that I have a boyfriend and he was so sorry if he made me feel like he was hitting on me or something. We cleared everything out and yet, he still texts me every single day, before and after work. He still invites me out and calls me. My team-mates tell me that the guy obviously likes me but I don't want to assume. All I could offer right now is friendship.
So yeah. I arrived in the office right on time. Even had the time to put on make up (powder + lipgloss). And here I am, working my butt off, though there aren't a lot of work today since it's New Year's Eve!
Yayyy!
And oh by the way, it's not Will or Plane who gave me gifts last Christmas. It was my co-new hire who gave me those cute presents in the Kris Kringle activity we had. Okay Jane, wrong hunch. -___- But Will really looks good today with his new haircut. Hihi!
Too bad you have a longtime girlfriend (5yrs!!! Omggg who can compete with that??), I can't have a crush on you. LOL Joooke :P
That's all I can say... For now. Haha! I hope you guys have an awesome year! Let's all hope for the best in 2013. Happy New Year! :D
Sparkling like a firework,
Secret Diary Keeper
Oh geez, it's year 2013 already!
Time flies really fast. I am not sure if that's a good thing, though.
2012 has been a bittersweet year for me, but mostly sweet. But if could sum up my 2012 in 1 word, it will be blessed. Blessed because I have my family with me despite the ups and downs of life. I have known who my real friends are, those that won't say a
Well I just hope they could read this message.
Haha!Right now, I am in the office and I am in the mood to blog and rant all the things in my mind. Yes, I have spent the New Year's Eve here in the office. Another first time for me.
I've been having a bit of a bad day earlier. Mainly because the train stopped operating at an earlier time. Which means, I must take a cab going to work. Wrong timing. I didn't have cash with me. But I still went on, rode the cab and told the driver to stop when I saw a bank where I could withdraw money from. Aside from the train problem, I was seriously running late for work. I only had 40mins to travel (my travel time is normally 1 hour & a half) because of an unknown phone call which made my bad mood much worse. Later did I know that it was my colleague who was calling me. He was trying to call everyone in his contacts to check if the network is busy or not. I was on grumpy mood when I answered his call because he was chappy and I didn't know at that time that it was him. I even thought it was just a prank call from my family.
Speaking of this colleague, let's call him JV. Well, he's an acquaintance actually. I met him because he was the one who assisted me on my requirements in the company. He talks to me through chat then he got my number and in the past weeks, he's trying to connect with me by inviting me over some coffee or dinner which I purposely reject each time. I'm kinda mean, noh? But it's because I had to. :P I had to turn him down because I don't want to be in sticky situation with ze boyfriend. Yeah I know it'll be just a friendly date, but I know for sure he won't agree to it. Then later, when I added JV in Facebook, he knew that I have a boyfriend and he was so sorry if he made me feel like he was hitting on me or something. We cleared everything out and yet, he still texts me every single day, before and after work. He still invites me out and calls me. My team-mates tell me that the guy obviously likes me but I don't want to assume. All I could offer right now is friendship.
So yeah. I arrived in the office right on time. Even had the time to put on make up (powder + lipgloss). And here I am, working my butt off, though there aren't a lot of work today since it's New Year's Eve!
Yayyy!And oh by the way, it's not Will or Plane who gave me gifts last Christmas. It was my co-new hire who gave me those cute presents in the Kris Kringle activity we had. Okay Jane, wrong hunch. -___- But Will really looks good today with his new haircut. Hihi!
Too bad you have a longtime girlfriend (5yrs!!! Omggg who can compete with that??), I can't have a crush on you. LOL Joooke :PThat's all I can say... For now. Haha! I hope you guys have an awesome year! Let's all hope for the best in 2013. Happy New Year! :D
Sparkling like a firework,
Secret Diary Keeper
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